


The Staff Meeting

by deinde_prandium



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 17:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4531086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deinde_prandium/pseuds/deinde_prandium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It’s not that he hated his job. In truth, he preferred working with a bunch of kids to dealing with the pretentious old farts that hung around the clubhouse....Except.</p>
<p>Except that year after year, the same thing would happen: at some point, whatever adolescent drama they’d dragged into the club with them at the start of the summer would bubble to the surface, and all hell would break loose."</p>
<p>Haymitch needs to straighten out some staffing issues, and whatever's going on between Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark is at the top of his list. Based on a tumblr prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Staff Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for notanislander. Thanks to Dealan for pre-reading.
> 
> I own nothing, but I borrow with love. Thanks, SC!

Haymitch dug the heel of his palm into his left eye socket as he listened to Effie yak away. He was no stranger to her “critiques” of how he handled his staff, but if he had to listen to one more lecture about “effective mentoring for the purposes of elevating staff morale,” he might stab something.

It’s not that he hated his job. In truth, he preferred working with a bunch of kids to dealing with the pretentious old farts that hung around the clubhouse. They were competent enough, and as long as they showed up on time and the club members didn’t complain about them too much, Haymitch just let them go about their business. He didn’t tell them how to live their lives, and they didn’t tell him to quit drinking.

It was a good system. Except.

Except that year after year, the same thing would happen: at some point, whatever adolescent drama they’d dragged into the club with them at the start of the summer would bubble to the surface, and all hell would break loose.

It was like fucking clockwork.

“Haymitch Abernathy, are you listening to me?”

The sound of Effie’s shrill voice over the phone brought him back to the present. “Yeah, yeah, Trinket. I’ll take care of it,” he replied gruffly.

“Good. Because Mr. Heavensbee is a very important member, and we simply cannot have another incident involving the junior employees. If-”

“I told you, I’ll take care of it. I’ll call a staff meeting. Right now, in fact. So if you excuse me, I’ve got some kids to mentor.”

Hanging up the phone before Effie had a chance to reply, Haymitch heaved a sigh. With only a month left in the season, he’d really thought he was in the clear this year. Guess the odds just weren’t in his favor.

Grabbing his mug, he rose from his desk and marched out the door of his office. “Staff meeting!” he yelled as he headed for the break room. “Now!”

Every year, the same old shit. What a waste of time.

\---

Within ten minutes, the small group of 17 to 21 year-olds that made up Haymitch’s summer staff were awkwardly lined up along the walls of the break room, waiting for the meeting to start.

“Okay, listen up!” he barked out, signalling that the meeting had officially begun. “It has been brought to my attention that the upper management at the club has some…concerns with the sports and recreation team’s performance lately. Now, just because I spend most of my time behind my desk doesn’t mean I don’t hear about what’s going on among the members of my staff. You just don’t know it because I don’t care to drag your asses through the mud every time some pretentious asshole gets all high and mighty about how little Suzy Glimmer didn’t get the spot she wanted on the sailing team. But we have officially reached the point in the season where I stop being your human shield and start calling y'all out on your bullshit. Because ain’t nobody gonna survive the rest of the summer if you continue to act like you’re still in high school-”

“But some of us _are_ in high school,” Clove interrupted, crossing her arms indignantly.

“Pardon me. Ain’t nobody gonna survive the rest of the summer if you continue to act like you’re still in kindergarten,” he corrected. Taking a swig from his mug, Haymitch continued. “Now, like I said, if you think you’re somehow exempt from this meeting, you’re wrong. Every single one of you has something that needs fixing. And as this team’s designated “mentor,” apparently it’s my job to make sure you know what that is.“

“So what, you’re just gonna go through the line and criticize us one at a time?” Marvel asked incredulously.

“You know what? That is an excellent idea. Thank you for volunteering to go first.”

A chorus of groans rang out in the break room.

\--- 

If these kids thought a single thing escaped his watchful eye, they had another thing coming. One by one, Haymitch put each employee through the ringer. He went easy on a couple of them - Rue was a good worker, just needed to learn how to say “no” if she felt she was taking too much on - but some of the others got the full treatment.

Finnick was taken to task for constantly stealing sugar cubes from the cafe. “You wanna lose weight? Stop eating, fatty,” he admonished. Finnick, not surprisingly, just laughed it off.

Johanna needed a reminder that not everyone shared her healthy and open attitude about nudity, and no, having their event at the clothing-optional beach on the island was not a viable option.

Haymitch actually thought a lot of the complaints about Gale were bullshit, but the kid still needed a nudge in the right direction. “You wanna make more money?” he asked. “Stop acting like you’re too good for this job and start smiling. You’d be amazed at what a little civility can do to bring in tips.”

Hearing a snort behind him, Haymitch whipped around to face the source of the interruption. “I wouldn’t be laughing if I were you, Cato. Do _you_ wanna make more money? Then work your ass off, lazy. All Hawthorne has to do to make more money is pretend to like his job…but you? You need to stop trying to pawn your work off on everyone else.”

Satisfied at having successfully shut Cato up, Haymitch turned back around to face his next target. Katniss Everdeen.The girl who had started it all. But just as he was about to speak, the broad frame of his lead sailing instructor stepped into his field of vision, blocking her from view.

“Alright Haymitch, I think you’ve made your point,” Peeta said carefully, hoping that his intervention would bring the meeting to an end before things got any more out of hand.

“Oh joy, the peanut gallery’s finally decided to weigh in,” his boss replied with an eyeroll. “You think stepping in now is gonna protect Everdeen over here? Well let me tell you, boy - out of everybody in this room, you and Sweetheart are the biggest pains in my ass. You wanna know why I called this meeting? Because not 20 minutes ago, I had the privilege of having Effie Trinket inform me that Katniss let an arrow fly into the middle of Plutarch Heavensbee’s ‘Oktoberfest in July’ party.”

“I heard the arrow skewered the apple in the pig’s mouth,” Marvel snickered.

“What kind of douche has an Oktoberfest party in July, anyway?” Jo piped in.

“Can it,” Haymitch snapped. Returning his attention to Peeta, he continued. “Now, I can come up with a thousand theories as to why my most senior summer staffer, a decorated competitive archer, lost her focus and almost accidentally killed someone. But I don’t have to, because I know it’s _your_ fault.”

Peeta’s mouth dropped open. “ _My_ fault? How’s that?”

“Because you two have spent so much time miserably pining after one another that it’s starting to affect your fucking jobs, that’s how!” Haymitch exploded. “Three years, this has been building. Don’t think the rest of us haven’t noticed. You think she’s with tall, dark, and broody next to her. She doesn’t think you’re interested because you keep hiding behind Madge every time she looks your way. You think you’re playing it cool, but it’s really just confusing her. It’s exhausting. And now, the sexual tension between you two has grown to a point where the club can literally no longer contain it. Trust me, if I had known Trinket putting you in lederhosen would have resulted in a fiasco like this, I would never have let her borrow you and Odair in the first place. So please, stop being such idiots. You wanna be happy? You find someone you like and never let them go. Or, in your case, recognize that you’ve already found them and just go for it. Leave the teenage angst to actual teenagers.”

Wide-eyed, Katniss and Peeta looked about the room to gauge their co-workers’ reaction to Haymitch’s diatribe. Amazingly, all of them were nodding along in agreement. All but Gale, who looked like he’d just sucked on a lemon.

Humiliated, Katniss turned to flee - only to be stopped by the feel of Peeta’s hand on her shoulder. “Katniss, wait,” he said pleadingly.

She froze in her tracks - not leaving the room, but not turning to face him either. The room fell silent as everyone watched to see what would happen next.

Ignoring the stares of his co-workers, Peeta crossed in front of Katniss to face her directly. He planted his hands on her shoulders - gently, so as not to make her feel pressured to stay, but firmly enough to shield her from the curious looks of everyone else in the room. “Katniss,” he murmured. “Is what he said for real?”

“Peeta, please,” she begged him, keeping her eyes focused firmly on the floor in front of her. “Not here. I-”

“-Because it’s real for me,” Peeta interjected. Katniss’ head flew up in surprise, meeting his gaze with wide eyes. He gave her a tentative smile. “He’s right, you know. Not that I ever wanted you to find out like this…but it’s true. I’ve been a goner for you since day one. I just never thought I had a chance.”

If not for the fact that occupants of the room were literally holding a collective breath, Katniss’ response would have been inaudible. “It’s real for me, too,” she all but whispered.

A flurry of emotions crossed Peeta’s face - confusion, understanding, and finally, elation - as he processed her response. Grinning, he swept her up into his arms. “God, I’ve been such an idiot,” he breathed.

“I guess that makes two of us,” Katniss replied with a shaky laugh.

The tension between them finally broken, the pair leaned in to kiss, no longer caring about the embarrassment wrought upon them by Haymitch’s tirade. A cacophony of cheers and catcalls erupted when their lips met. Neither Katniss nor Peeta even bothered to acknowledge them.

“Well, fucking finally! Now that we’ve resolved one drama, can the rest of you take a note from these two and get your acts together?” Throwing his hands up in the air, Haymitch turned and stomped out of the break room. “And get back to work!” he called over his shoulder.

Haymitch kept his eyes focused forward as the crowd behind him dispersed. No way was he going to let them see him smile at how things had turned out. Especially not Sweetheart.

He supposed the staff meeting hadn’t been a total waste of time after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm deinde-prandium on tumblr. Come say hi.


End file.
